The Wednesday Windup Vol. 14: Performance Max, Lamborghinis, and My Biggest Oops

Welcome back to the Wednesday Windup.

Yes, this is the unfiltered chaos of my shower thoughts—scribbled down before they disappear into the abyss of soap and steam.

And yes, I’ve got news. (Don’t I always?) But this one? This one might actually make you sit up a little straighter. It’s good. Stick with me.

Here’s the question of the day:

Why doesn’t Lamborghini advertise on TV?

It’s not because they’re broke. And it’s definitely not because they don’t believe in marketing.

It’s because their audience—the empire builders, the decision-makers, the people who can actually afford a Lamborghini—aren’t wasting time.

They’re not sitting around watching reruns of The Bachelor. They’re out there doing the things that make them the kind of people who buy Lamborghinis.

And Lamborghini knows this.

Two Lessons Here:

1. Know your audience — or risk wasting valuable time and resources. (In The Strategy Lab, Nechama breaks down the key questions you need to answer to truly grasp who they are, what they struggle with, and where they spend their time.)
2. Know your time. The empire builders aren’t watching detergent commercials because they value their time too much to waste it. Are you doing the same?

Time is money. If you’re spending hours on things that don’t matter—or targeting people who aren’t your buyers—you’re burning both.

Lamborghini doesn’t waste resources advertising to the wrong people, and neither should you.

What’s in this week's windup? Glad you asked.

This week, we’re diving headfirst into the wonderful, infuriating world of Performance Max.

• First, you’ll get early access (just for this list) to the brand-spanking-new Ultimate Performance Max course. Think of it as my way of saying, “I’m sorry for spamming you every Wednesday.”
• Second, we’re talking about my big mistake—the kind that left a client fuming and me wondering if it’s too late to move to a remote island without Wi-Fi.
• And finally, when splitting Performance Max campaigns is a good idea and not just panic-induced.

Let’s go. This might just save your Wednesday—or your career.

"Lost time is never found again."

– Benjamin Franklin

 The Awards I Couldn’t Sell

A story from inside the agency... 

The first real trouncing I got was back in early 2014, a few months after I hung out my shingle, launched my first AdWords campaign, and waited for clients to call. Andy from AD Trophy submitted a form, and instead of calling him back, I got in my car and drove the thirty minutes to meet him in Bethpage. He sold trophies. Tens of thousands of trophies. It was an old business with a new and utterly unusable website.

We sat at a small, dusty table surrounded by floor-to-ceiling shelves of plastic trophies. He looked at me curiously and said, “I like you, but aren’t you too young for this?”

“Mark Zuckerberg was young when he founded Facebook,” I replied.

He laughed at that, shook my hand, and became client number two.

The plan was to spend a maximum of $200 per day on AdWords and monitor the results throughout each day. It was his first time advertising online, and this guy was so conservative that he made Trappist Monks look like Harvey Weinstein.

I had absolutely no conception of how little two hundred dollars was on AdWords. AD Trophy had hundreds of product categories; every possible sport, grade, academic achievement, and variation thereof. I bought a $79 subscription to Speed PPC and spend the entire night building out a massive account with thousands of ad groups and tens of thousands of keywords. I finished around 7:30 a.m. My eyes were twitching, but I was excited.

I hit launch around nine, showered, made coffee, and drove to the office. My cell rang as I was plugging my laptop in. It was Andy. He was apoplectic. “Did you see the campaigns!? You spent all two hundred dollars in an hour, and we didn’t get a single sale! I knew this was a mistake, I should never have hired you! You’re too young!”

He was right. Not about being too young, but we did spend the $200 without a single sale.

“Okay, Andy, I’m sorry, we’re testing all sorts of ideas, and this is a big account. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t tell me not to worry!” Andy spat back. “Don’t spend any more money today—tomorrow, spend ONLY one hundred dollars. Do you understand me? ONE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS!”

“Completely understand, Andy; that’s a great strategy. One hundred dollars. Tomorrow.”

I hung up with Andy, opened his AdWords account, and changed the portfolio budget to $100 per day.

Except I didn’t. I accidentally set the budget to $1,000 per day.

Worse, and unbeknownst to me, back then, AdWords considered a budget change at the portfolio level a sort of reset and would begin to spend the budget again even if the daily spend up until that point exceeded the new budget.

I had mentally filed Andy and his trophies away until the next morning, so I was surprised when I saw he was calling me again an hour later.

Apoplectic would be an understatement—he sounded like he was having a brain aneurysm. The account had spent the entire thousand dollars in the past hour. Zero sales. Sometimes we block these experiences out, and we just remember the gist of what was said to us or what we said to someone else in a moment of rage. But I remember Andy’s words clearly.

“You stupid, f*** moron-boy!”

I laughed at the insanity of it all—definitely a coping mechanism.

He remained a client—wonders never cease—and I actually developed a nice relationship with him. I went into the city with him to help communicate what he needed to his Ukrainian web developer. I helped manage the backend of the website when his father was dying. I visited Andy at the shop regularly, and eventually, the campaigns were generating steady sales at a profit.

It’s important not to take any of this stuff too personally.

It’s also important to recognize that when a client is angry, and that anger gets the better of them, they’re usually at least partially right.

And if you orient yourself with appreciation—that the client, for better or worse, is giving you an opportunity to grow, develop and learn … that helps too.

At the very least, the best (or worst) of these experiences make good stories.

Performance Max is either a work of genius or a budget-sucking void wrapped in a “learning phase” label.

There’s no in-between.

We’ve been told to “trust the algorithm.” Sometimes it delivers—like magic. Other times? It’s like Google decided to throw darts at a spreadsheet while blindfolded.

I’ve been asked, over and over, to create a Performance Max course. And for a long time, I didn’t. Why? Because I refuse to sell you fluff. I wanted proof. Real results from thousands of campaigns. I wanted to know exactly what works, what doesn’t, and how to make Pmax actually useful.

Now, it’s here.

Six hours. One campaign type.

Every strategy, insight, and process you need to make Performance Max work for you, not against you.

If you already have the Ultimate Digital Advertising Library, congratulations—it’s already there. Log in now. 

If you don’t? It’s 40% off right now with code BF2024. 

You could also buy just the Pmax course. Check out all the details here. 

Click here to start winning. Or keep wondering what Pmax is really doing.

Totally up to you.

When to Split Performance Max Campaigns (and Why It’s Worth It)

Performance Max is a data junkie. It thrives on aggregation and machine learning, which means splitting campaigns can hurt more than it helps—unless you’ve got a really good reason.

So, when should you do it?

• Different Budgets: Prioritize budgets for key segments or products.
• ROAS/CPA Goals: High-margin vs. low-margin products don’t play by the same rules.
• Conversion Goals: Leads vs. purchases = separate strategies.
• Geography: Your Florida buyers aren’t the same as your Boston buyers.
• Seasonal or Promo Products: Time-sensitive? Isolate it.
• Stock Issues: High stock vs. low stock—don’t let inventory mess with your performance.
• AOV Differentiation: $20 orders and $200 orders don’t belong together.
• Low-Performing Products: Give them space to optimize—or let them go.
• New Customer Focus: Want fresh buyers? Treat them like the unicorns they are.

If none of these apply, don’t split. Use asset groups instead to tailor messaging and product listings without losing Pmax’s machine-learning edge.

And this? This is just a small taste of the new Pmax course.

If you want the full playbook—the kind that gives you the Performance Max returns you need—I highly recommend you check it out.

Click here to get the full 6-hour experience of the most comprehensive Performance Max course you have ever seen.

You won’t regret it — I promise. If you do, I offer a money-back guarantee. 

Get early access to the Performance Max course with the Ultimate Digital Advertising Library, now 40% off—or keep waiting and wondering why.

P.S.

1. If you’re up for a wild ride through the joys and chaos of creative writing, subscribe to The Scatterplot Chronicles, my LinkedIn series where I spill the beans on my writing and publishing adventures. My third article is here. Check out all the details. 

2. Seriously, please hit the subscribe button (it’s different from following me) to receive the Scatterplot Chronicles straight to your inbox.

3. Check out my book here. If you’re generous enough to order a copy (it makes a great gift), DM me your order confirmation on LinkedIn, and you’ll be entered into a raffle for a brand new pair of Apple AirPods MAX … drawing next week!